My Meth-Dealing Boyfriend

        I first met my husband, Jude, when we were high school age teens. He was the lead singer of one of the few actual bands in my small town (and the best one), Black Thursday and he was dating a really popular girl who I completely idolized. I knew who he was and in my mind he was a total rock star. We met in passing a few times and I saw him play with his band a lot, but we didn't really know each other. When we actually started to get to know each other several years later, things happened pretty quickly. I was nannying in Maryland and he was not quite an hour away at The Art Institute of Dulles-Washington. We were both a little homesick and excited to see someone familiar. It sounds corny, but I just knew he was right for me right away.

         One of the first times I ever had him over to my parent's place, we were sitting up in my room having a chat when he casually slipped in something about how he was a meth dealer and then just kept talking like it was nothing. Completely shocked, I asked for some clarification.

Me: Wait, did you just say you're a meth dealer? (I start wondering why I have been the one paying for all of our dates if homie is making bank dealing meth!)

Jude: (Super casually) Oh, yeah. It's really good money. It helps me pay for college.

Me: Are you serious?

Jude: Yeah. I have this neighbor named Jesse who helps me make it for a cut.

Me: Jude, there's no way you're a meth dealer. (Starting to get kind of freaked out)

Jude: Yes, I am, Sarah. Anyone can learn to make meth with a basic knowledge of chemistry.

Me: Yeah, but...selling meth is not a good thing...

Jude: People are using it anyway. I give them a good deal.

Me: (Head spinning, trying to justify how I could stay with this amazing guy who I was falling in love with if he was a meth dealer, but also thinking about what nice jewelry he could afford to buy me with that kind of money)

Jude: (Grinning like The Cheshire Cat) (Yammering away about meth)

Me: (Having internal crisis and wondering what is wrong with me and how I always end up with such terrible people and how I'm going to have to break up with this incredible guy because he's actually an evil, immoral hardcore drug dealer!!!)

Jude: I'm messing with you.  I'm not a meth dealer.

Me: ...Really?

Jude: Yeah, that's the plot of Breaking Bad.

And that's the story of how Jude tricked me into thinking he was a meth dealer because I wasn't paying attention while he was trying to talk about Breaking Bad. He has been equally as mischievous since then, thank goodness. He keeps things interesting, and I love it (even though he often drives me completely nuts.)